The Other Side of Addiction: A Widow’s Mission to Help Families Heal.

Addiction doesn’t just impact the person struggling; it ripples through families, leaving loved ones searching for answers in the midst of chaos and heartbreak. In The Hardest Help: Supporting a Loved One Through Alcoholism, Holly Thorton shares her deeply personal journey of supporting her husband through alcoholism and liver disease, a battle that tragically ended in his passing. Out of that pain came a mission: to equip others with the tools, strategies, and guidance she once desperately needed but couldn’t find.

Blending her lived experience with evidence-based methods like the C.R.A.F.T. approach, she provides a compassionate and practical roadmap for families who feel powerless in the face of addiction. In this conversation, Holly opens up about her story, what inspired her to speak out, and why hope and healing are possible, not only for those battling substance use, but also for the people who love them most.

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Can you tell us a bit about your background? 

Before writing The Hardest Help: Supporting a Loved One Through Alcoholism, I worked as a nurse recruiter, primarily in dialysis. I’ve always loved the outdoors, especially hiking, fishing, and traveling. But my life changed when my husband began battling alcoholism. I was desperate for answers and threw myself into researching everything I could. Finding the right resources and approaches took time, and unfortunately, we didn’t have enough of it. Along with addiction, we were also facing liver disease caused by years of alcohol use. Sadly, he passed away. I truly believe that if we had found the right tools earlier, he might still be here. That belief is what drives me. I wrote this book to share what I’ve learned so other families don’t have to go through what we did.

What inspired you to share your story so openly?

I knew there had to be a better way. When my husband went to rehab, I was desperate to support him, but no one handed me a guide. I was labeled an "enabler" and told I was part of the problem, but no one told me how to be part of the solution. I felt lost and overwhelmed. Over time, I discovered tools and methods that actually helped us make real progress. But even then, we still lost the battle. That heartbreak became my motivation. I knew I had to share what I had learned, not just the pain, but the strategies, the hope, and the clarity I had fought so hard to find. I wrote this book to be the guide I needed but couldn’t find. For the spouse, parent, sibling, or friend who’s asking: How do I get my loved one into treatment? How do I help them stay? What do I do when they come home? How do I support long-term sobriety? How do I reduce the chaos in our home? Now that I have the answers I once searched for, I am committed to guiding others through what can feel like the darkest and most confusing time of their lives. 

When you were in the middle of your husband’s battle with alcoholism, what was the hardest part for you personally?

The hardest part was watching him fade away right in front of me and feeling completely powerless to stop it. It felt like falling off a cliff in slow motion. I knew I was going to hit the ground hard. I knew something terrible was coming, but I didn’t know when or how to stop it. That sense of dread and helplessness was overwhelming. I was constantly bracing for impact, living in fear of the outcome, and feeling like I had no real way to change the course we were on.

Was there a specific turning point when you realized “detach with love” wasn’t working, and that families needed a different approach?

Yes, there was a very clear turning point. Steve spent three months on life support after his liver and kidneys suddenly shut down, and he was diagnosed with cirrhosis at just 34 years old. He wasn’t expected to survive that hospital stay, but somehow, he did.

After he recovered, he went to the Betty Ford treatment center, and they recommended he stay for six months. But just a few weeks in, he called me and said, "If you don’t come get me, I’m walking home." I knew the moment he came home and immediately started drinking again that I was facing an uphill battle — and I was facing it without the right support.

That was when I realized that "detaching with love" wasn’t going to save him, and it certainly wasn’t going to save me. I needed personalized resources. I needed someone to guide me, not just tell me to step back and let go.

You talk about the C.R.A.F.T. Method in your book. Can you tell us more about that?

Absolutely. While I explored several approaches to support my husband, C.R.A.F.T. was one of the most impactful methods I found. C.R.A.F.T., which stands for Community Reinforcement and Family Training, is an evidence-based way to help loved ones encourage someone struggling with addiction to seek treatment. Unlike the old advice to “detach with love” or wait for “rock bottom,” C.R.A.F.T. teaches you how to stay connected, set healthy boundaries, and reinforce positive behavior, all while taking care of yourself. This approach helped me communicate more effectively, reduce conflict, and create an environment that motivated my husband to get help on his own terms. It was empowering at a time when I often felt helpless, and that’s why it’s such an important part of the book.

How do the strategies in your book differ from other addiction recovery guides?

The strategies in my book range from the C.R.A.F.T. method to motivational interviewing techniques, all designed to help the loved one get into the right mindset so they can truly support their struggling family member.

You know that saying, Put on your own air mask before helping someone else? When you’re living in chaos, it’s natural to place blame, get upset, and unintentionally drive a wedge between you and your loved one. My book teaches practical methods to break that destructive cycle. What makes this book unique is that I’m not just sharing my personal story throughout — I’m also giving readers a clear, step-by-step guide. I show how to steer your loved one toward treatment, how to help keep them in treatment, and how to support them when they come home. I cover what to do when they resist quitting or getting help, how to support yourself through the process, how to choose the right treatment, and much more. This isn’t just theory, it’s a hands-on, compassionate resource for anyone living through the reality of loving someone with addiction. 

For families who feel hopeless right now, what’s the very first step you’d recommend they take? 

The very first step is to stop doing what’s not working. If begging your loved one to stop drinking isn’t helping, then it is time to try a different approach because there is another way. I recommend reading trusted resources to learn new strategies, connecting with others who are going through similar experiences, and reaching out to professionals in your area for guidance. Don’t be afraid to ask for support from your friends and family, too. You don’t have to face this alone, and taking that first step toward change can open the door to hope.

Nearly half of U.S. adults have seen addiction impact someone they love. What do you hope they’ll take away from The Hardest Help?

I hope they come away knowing they are not alone. Addiction can feel isolating and overwhelming, but there is hope and help available. More than that, I want readers to understand that they do not have to suffer in silence or rely on outdated advice that does not work. The Hardest Help offers practical tools and real-world guidance to empower families to support their loved ones' healthily and effectively. I want people to feel equipped to take action, to find support for themselves, and to believe that positive change is possible even when the situation feels impossible.

For more information on Holly and her book, please visit: https://www.thehardesthelp.com/